October 2009
1 post
Oct 4th
September 2009
6 posts
WatchWatch
Zingers.
Sep 21st
Sep 17th
Sep 13th
Sep 11th
Sep 9th
Sep 7th
August 2009
1 post
The Terribly Named Comedy Show at The Spot. →
Aug 7th
December 2008
2 posts
8 tags
WatchWatch
Dec 15th
5 tags
Dec 8th
November 2008
3 posts
5 tags
It kinda tastes how pennies smell.
I was having a conversation with someone about the Teddy Ruxpins we had as children, and how for some reason that and any battery powered toys we had were constantly leaking battery acid.  I was grossed out at the fact that I could remember touching the battery acid, then I remembered I used to eat that shit.
Nov 21st
4 tags
Nov 17th
3 tags
Nov 4th
October 2008
2 posts
8 tags
Oct 30th
Ding dong. Heres your flowers you fucking jerkoff.
After delivering flowers for a day I’ve learned a few things. First off people like it when you bring them pizza way more than when you bring flowers.  When you show up at someone’s door with flowers when the sun is down they look at you like you’re there to rape them.  If I was going to rape someone atleast I brought flowers.  I think it qualifies as a date. Also everyone that...
Oct 24th
Oct 1st
September 2008
4 posts
This one time when I lived in Greensboro,
I was grocery shopping with my cousin and we overheard three bro-type dudes say something along the lines of ” If you don’t get a 5th of Crown Royal, we might as well just have sex with dudes.” That guy must make a lot of poor decisions.
Sep 21st
If I was ever involved in piss porn...
I’d make sure to take vitamins to jazz up the color of my pee.
Sep 5th
Sep 4th
August 2008
2 posts
N.W.A. was right, man.
So I’m leaving a job interview that I had at like 4 A.M. and heading down North Ave. when I’m like fuck it instead of going to my apartment I’m going to my parents house to eat their food and watch their TV. Anyways, I bust a right on Cicero to cut though to 55 and got pulled over. The officer told me it was because I was white and no white people are ever in that area at...
Aug 28th
Aug 18th
July 2008
7 posts
Jul 29th
Jul 29th
Boats and hoes.
Stepbrothers was awesome. Almost as awesome as these dudes’ secret handshake to signify that the movie they just saw was good that I witnessed while leaving the theater…no wait, that was stupid, and if I ever see anything like that again I’m going to shoot myself in the fucking face.
Jul 25th
Jul 23rd
Jul 22nd
Jul 22nd
Pitchfork.
Dave and I snunk in there. I saw a hippie wearing a Klaus Nomi shirt digging in the mud by the port-a-johns. I tried to take a picture, but Neil’s stupid face got in the way. Oh, and it was babe city (lots of babes…seriously.)
Jul 21st